I debated whether I should even be writing this post because maybe I was just blowing this out of proportion. Maybe I was letting it bother me too much. Maybe it's not THAT big of a deal. The more I thought about it, the more it angered me. Usually I am all about promoting positivity, and that's why I am writing about this today instead of my I heart Monday from yesterday.
I had a lovely post all lined up for Monday. Full of things I loved from the last couple weeks. Then I went out to dinner with my family and that all went down the drain.
It's not even in the way you think either. Dinner with my family was great. We talked, laughed about my moms horrible 'Reese Witherspoon' joke for the hundredth time (never gets old, and she never tells it right, and that's why it's so funny), dad paid the bill and we all left. But while we were waiting for our food, the table next to us really made me mad.
We went to El Camino Real, which Google classifies as 'contemporary Mexican cuisine' and their website says it serves fresh 'fine Mexican food'. Yes, Mexican people work there.
The table next to us had two couples, both middle aged. The one man I would probably say was borderline deaf judging by the volume of his flip phone's ringer. You read that right, FLIP PHONE. It rang about four times during dinner and we heard it loud and clear. This has nothing to do with why I was annoyed with them, it just sets the stage.
They wanted their waiter for something, and looked around with that 'I need something' look. Their waiter was male by the way even though they referred to him as 'waitress' all night.
The man with the phone declares, "Where is our waitress?" He looks around the restaurant and sees a waiter and says "Oh there he is...hey sir!?"
His partner says, "Honey that's not our waiter!"
The man with the phone says, "Oh who cares, they all look the same anyways." And continues to wave him down.
THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.
I have heard this one too many times in reference to many different races. I've heard Asian people say that 'all white/black people look the same' and white people say that 'all Indian/Asian people look the same'. It doesn't matter what you are, you could be white, Mexican, Asian, black, Indian, whatever, WE ALL DON'T LOOK THE SAME.
All black people don't look the same.
All Asian people don't look the same.
All white people don't look the same.
All Mexican people don't look the same.
All (insert race here) people don't look the same.
We may have some of the same characteristics, hair colour, skin colour, eye colour, height. But there are so many other things about each person that make them individual, who they are. I'm not even talking about personalities or interests, I'm talking about taking the time to actually look at people. Look past people's race and see what they really look like. Our waiter was not just 'the Mexican one', and if that man had really looked at him then he would have seen that.
I must say, I am not an expert at all things 'race related' and do not want this to get out of control as race can be a touchy subject. I think this is bothering me so much because I didn't say anything to that man with the flip phone. I didn't stand up for the waiter, and should have said something like 'No they do not all look the same. They aren't even wearing the same colour shirt. Take a minute and look at the person who is waiting on your table hand a foot and give him a little more respect. Otherwise go home and cook your own dinner.' Unfortunately I didn't say a thing, I just let it happen. I even commented about how horrible it was to my husband and to the rest of family. But I regret not saying something then and there. So I am saying something now: The next time you look at someone, try not to look at the physical characteristics that jump out at you first (he was black, she was Asian), but actually look at their face. You might find something that you didn't see before. And stand up for something you don't feel is right. Let people know you don't agree. Don't be afraid to be heard.
Leave me some love,
I'm Tory, the creator behind The Barmy Fox. My current loves