I debated whether I should even be writing this post because maybe I was just blowing this out of proportion. Maybe I was letting it bother me too much. Maybe it's not THAT big of a deal. The more I thought about it, the more it angered me. Usually I am all about promoting positivity, and that's why I am writing about this today instead of my I heart Monday from yesterday.
I had a lovely post all lined up for Monday. Full of things I loved from the last couple weeks. Then I went out to dinner with my family and that all went down the drain.
It's not even in the way you think either. Dinner with my family was great. We talked, laughed about my moms horrible 'Reese Witherspoon' joke for the hundredth time (never gets old, and she never tells it right, and that's why it's so funny), dad paid the bill and we all left. But while we were waiting for our food, the table next to us really made me mad.
We went to El Camino Real, which Google classifies as 'contemporary Mexican cuisine' and their website says it serves fresh 'fine Mexican food'. Yes, Mexican people work there.
The table next to us had two couples, both middle aged. The one man I would probably say was borderline deaf judging by the volume of his flip phone's ringer. You read that right, FLIP PHONE. It rang about four times during dinner and we heard it loud and clear. This has nothing to do with why I was annoyed with them, it just sets the stage.
They wanted their waiter for something, and looked around with that 'I need something' look. Their waiter was male by the way even though they referred to him as 'waitress' all night.
The man with the phone declares, "Where is our waitress?" He looks around the restaurant and sees a waiter and says "Oh there he is...hey sir!?"
His partner says, "Honey that's not our waiter!"
The man with the phone says, "Oh who cares, they all look the same anyways." And continues to wave him down.
THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.
I have heard this one too many times in reference to many different races. I've heard Asian people say that 'all white/black people look the same' and white people say that 'all Indian/Asian people look the same'. It doesn't matter what you are, you could be white, Mexican, Asian, black, Indian, whatever, WE ALL DON'T LOOK THE SAME.
All black people don't look the same.
All Asian people don't look the same.
All white people don't look the same.
All Mexican people don't look the same.
All (insert race here) people don't look the same.
We may have some of the same characteristics, hair colour, skin colour, eye colour, height. But there are so many other things about each person that make them individual, who they are. I'm not even talking about personalities or interests, I'm talking about taking the time to actually look at people. Look past people's race and see what they really look like. Our waiter was not just 'the Mexican one', and if that man had really looked at him then he would have seen that.
I must say, I am not an expert at all things 'race related' and do not want this to get out of control as race can be a touchy subject. I think this is bothering me so much because I didn't say anything to that man with the flip phone. I didn't stand up for the waiter, and should have said something like 'No they do not all look the same. They aren't even wearing the same colour shirt. Take a minute and look at the person who is waiting on your table hand a foot and give him a little more respect. Otherwise go home and cook your own dinner.' Unfortunately I didn't say a thing, I just let it happen. I even commented about how horrible it was to my husband and to the rest of family. But I regret not saying something then and there. So I am saying something now: The next time you look at someone, try not to look at the physical characteristics that jump out at you first (he was black, she was Asian), but actually look at their face. You might find something that you didn't see before. And stand up for something you don't feel is right. Let people know you don't agree. Don't be afraid to be heard.
Leave me some love,
Let me start off by saying that I am not fat. My heaviest weight is usually a goal weight for most people. I am petite, and that’s putting it mildly. If you ask me, I will say that I am 5 foot tall (I’m 4’10ish). I am talking about 130lbs on someone that is 4’10” with a small frame. Think about that. I couldn’t be more of an oompa loompa if I tried. I struggle with body issues and low self-esteem constantly and thought that if I lost weight, it would get better. But here’s the thing, I could never start it. I had no motivation other than self-loathing, which isn’t a really great reason to start making changes in your life. This year I had enough. I was SLOWLY making changes to eat healthier but I still wasn’t working out regularly. Cut to a week and a half ago. I put on my bridesmaids dress and couldn’t get it zipped all the way. I REPEAT, I COULDN’T GET IT ZIPPED. I was officially in panic mode. Do you know how I did it? I WANTED it. If you want it badly enough you WILL make necessary changes and that’s the hard truth. If you need any help I would definitely go to weightsnplates.com. It’s run by my friend Kevin and he’s a genius when it comes to this stuff. He’s also strict, which is what a lot of people need! Click HERE for the website!
These are my thoughts during my first week back to a healthier lifestyle.
Day 1- Wow. My heart is beating fast. Is it supposed to beat like that or am I about to have a heart attack? My thighs jiggle so much. I’m hungry. I want to read the captions on the TV but I don’t have my glasses on.
Day 2- I AM SO SORE. This cannot be natural. If I just work out for 15 minutes, is that acceptable? It literally hurts to breathe. Why does my body react like this to working out? Oh man, time to run. I hate running. It hurts my legs and makes my boobs jiggle.
Day 3- Oh, Backstreet Boys just came on my playlist. I miss them. Too bad they’re old and weird looking now. Except for Brian, I like him. I can’t breathe. I think I’m dying. Whew. Now what’s next? What does that machine do? Is it time to leave yet?
Day 4- THANK YOU BABY JESUS FOR REST DAY. I JUST WANT TO LIE HERE AND DIE.
Day 5- Everyone here has muscles. What will they think if they see me lifting 10 lbs weights? God, I am sweating so much. I wonder if people can smell me. This deodorant sucks, it’s totally not helping me out right now. This is why I don’t wear tank tops to the gym.
Day 6- Okay, it’s getting easier. I still hurt, but I feel great! All hail the power of Destinee. I did so many squats and core work today. I could probably lift a truck. I think I’ll just work out EVERYTHING and show the world how strong I am.
Day 7- Why did I think this was getting easier? ALL OF MY MUSCLES ARE SCREAMING THEIR DISAPPROVAL AT THIS WORKOUT. I’m just going to lie on this mat and pretend I’m stretching. I just want chicken tenders, French fries, and all the cheesecake in Charlotte.
I totally STILL think like that too, I just realized that my goal is bigger than my cravings. You know how all of that goes. If you ever want someone to help with motivation and affirmations, I’m your girl!
I am so excited to write this post!
My parents bought a cottage on our lake and we are renovating it! This has been my father's dream and he finally can say that he owns a cottage on Deep Lake! I remember going around the lake on the float boat and my parents talking about who lives in each of the cottages; there aren't many, and we know everyone on the lake. We would all choose which one we would buy if money were no object and what we would change about them. One of the ones we always wanted was the one on the end because it had a huge yard for the dogs to run in and, of course, our dad would build us a huge house there (ideas that only kids would have). They finally got the one on the end, and I am so happy for them! Here is a photo of them right after they signed the paperwork-proud new owners of a cottage on the lake-and the super cute house they bought!!
One we got inside and checked things out-we found a lot of things needed fixing, painting, taken out and completely renovated. We had (and still have!) a lot of work on our hands!
The walls had wire going all the way around them to hang curtains on. Every single wall. One wall had metal flashing (cut into squares) glued (GLUED) to the wall. That is what the little 's' patterns are on the one wall. It was also used as a backsplash in the kitchen.
In addition to this long multipurpose room, we've got two bedrooms, a bathroom (which needs loads of work. Read: gutted) and a laundry room. We've painted the two bedrooms white and then used some beachy tones for a bit of colour. This whole place is practically floor to ceiling panelling, so we had to make the best of what we were given. Thankfully, there is a bit in each room that is just drywall, so it looks really nice!
This is the parent's bedroom. I had a bit of paint leftover from when I redid my bedroom in Toledo, so they used that for the upper bit of drywall. I love this colour with the white. It's just got that 'lake' vibe to it. I ran back to the cottage on the way home last night because I forgot to take photos, so sorry for the 'sunset' glare on all the photos! I promise to take better ones next time!
This colour is called 'Silvermist' from Sherwin Williams, and I think it is gorgeous. It's a blue-green in the daytime and then its a bit more silver/gray at night. Love!
You can see the laundry room in the first photo through the doorway, and thankfully it has some cupboards for storage.
However, my favourite part is the view.
I've always loved the lake, and honestly, nothing is better than a sunset!
Cooper loves the new lake place, and Simba has turned into a lake dog. Even though he hates swimming, he goes in the water and waddles around. I'm so mad that I didn't take a photo of it!
I'll update in another week or so when we have a bit more done. The floor comes today. The beds come tomorrow. Then I'm sure it will be time to get sofas, refinish the wood table from the garage, and buy/make a kitchen. Then I get to decorate! HA!
There is still so much work to do on the cottage, but it's coming along nicely! We finally have a permanent year round place to call our own, and Dad has fulfilled his dream of owning a cottage. Now we only need to take Mom to Italy and they're all set!
Stay tuned-I still owe you my I Heart Monday from last week and the new selection of fabrics for bags!
Leave me some love!
Lately, I’ve been seeing people straight up BASH anyone who wears makeup. I stumbled across this article on Facebook recently and read the comments (one of my favorite things to do!).
A lot of the comments were normal, “of course she looks different.” and “Hail the power of makeup!” and even “This is why I have trust issues”. But then there were these gems “Her first mistake was putting on makeup”, “she looks like a clown”, “These women are clearly not feminists because if they were they wouldn’t be putting on makeup for men!” Um. Okay. Here's some things that people say that have makeup lovers rolling their eyes.
“Who are you wearing all that makeup for?”
First things first (I’m the realest, lol). As a makeup loving girl, I can honestly say I don’t wear makeup for anyone. Chances are, when you see me out you won’t approach me and say “Damn. Your contour is on point. I like a girl who knows how to chisel her cheekbones.” I wear makeup for MYSELF. Not anyone else.
“You must be insecure to cover up your face so much.”
Just because someone CHOOSES to wear makeup doesn’t mean that they hate their face. I don’t always wear makeup but I prefer it. Why? I don’t always want to scare children with my dark circles under my eyes.
“You’re prettier without all that makeup.”
Thanks, I think. I never know what to say to these types of people. I feel as if you just called me ugly but tried to cover it in glitter and sprinkles.
“Why do people who wear makeup think they're better than everyone else?”
Why do people who don't wear makeup think they're better than anyone else?! Neither one is better than the other. Cool if you wear makeup. Cool if you don't. JUST LET PEOPLE LIVE.
“How long does it take you to get ready?”
Shut up. JUST SHUT UP. My everyday routine takes me 15 minutes. I take longer trying to pick out clothes. Or chopping up my fruit.
“You must spend all your money on makeup.”
Listen. I spend MY money on things I enjoy. I don’t judge you and your cookware obsession, don’t judge me on how much I spend on a highlighter or lipstick. Buy whatever makes you happy and "treat yo self!"
“Seeing people without makeup is why I have trust issues.”
Wait. Is it my fault that you thought I have hot pink lips, a permanent black winged liner, and glittery cheekbones? NO. You’re stupid for thinking that.
Makeup is an art form and I’m a wannabe Picasso.
Recently I binge watched The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I use 'binge watch' loosely because it was really just two episodes per night before I went to bed for a week, but really I haven't had any time for movies or TV, so to me this is binge watching. I must admit though, I didn't really 'get' it at first. I mean. Yeah she has this super cool 'I can do anything' attitude, and that really is something to look up to. There's also that catchy theme song that I just can't get out of my head so I have to skip it every time I watch the show so that it's not playing in my head ALL NIGHT LONG. Everyone I know loves the part where he's like '...those females are strong as hell!' and I get that too. It's a nice sentence. But I didn't really get why everyone was so bat shit crazy over this show. Honestly, the first time I watched it I thought it was kinda bonkers.
However, the more I watched it, the more I got it. She really can do anything and that is only because she thinks that she can do anything. She doesn't let a lack of knowledge or the current fashion statement get in the way of whatever she wants to do. She just goes out and does it. That is awesome. She has the same attitude when she faces problems. Find a solution. Make it work.
I also love the bit where she says that whenever she is feeling uneasy, she just counts to ten, and then repeats it. As she says: Take everything 10 seconds at a time. If you can make it through the next ten seconds, just start another 10 seconds.
Again, I thought 'that is ridiculous and cannot possibly work'. I mean, let's be real. But it does work. I know because I tried it.
I did not intentionally mean to try it. It just happened. I was on my flight home from Charlotte a couple weekends ago (which you can read about here!) and I had made it to the last leg of the flight: a short jaunt from Chicago to Toledo. This flight was roouuuuggghh. It was a small plane, with one seat on the left, and two seats on the right. It was so very very shaky. I was sat in the single seat and couple to my right were proper freaked out. She was chanting 'omgomgomgomg' and grabbing her significant other, squeezing her eyes shut, and he was doing everything he could to calm her down. Idk if it was the shaky flight or that lady that had me a bit freaked out, but I swear I just started counting in my head. I counted to ten. Then I started over and counted to ten again. And again and again until we landed safely. It really really helped. I thought, I got through those ten seconds, I can get through the next ten seconds.
I do realise how ridiculous this sounds, but in the moment it worked. And I can guarantee that I will count to ten again in the future for this very same reason. I am counting to ten in my head whilst I am writing this, again, on anther plane.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is no shame in your game. If counting to ten makes you feel better, do it. If it's yoga or a Beyoncé song instead, that's ok too. I'm not here to judge, and you shouldn't be ashamed of what works for you.
You do you, just like Kimmy Schmidt.
I'm Tory, the creator behind The Barmy Fox. My current loves